Thursday, March 09, 2006

Googlenoia [warning, major rant]

What the hell is wrong with all you people?

Don't you have a fucking life that doesn't revolve around Google?

The last few days it's nothing but AdSense is crashing, BigDaddy is broken, Google stock is tumbling, blah blah get a fucking life blah.

First, losing some traction in the search engines thanks for some PhDs having brain farts at the 'plex doesn't mean your AdSense is broken or any of the conspiracy theories you can concoct to add to the mystique of AdSense. People using AdSense dance around it like the monkeys banging on the monolith in the opening scenes of 2001 a Space Odyssey. Come on fucknuts, unwrap the tightly wound tinfoil hats and use that steaming heap of gray shit called brains and realize that trends change, advertisers and budgets wax and wane, Google tests things now and then and on top of the list SHIT HAPPENS.

Funny, once upon a time Yahoo stock was skyrocketing and like all things that go up it came down but for some reason Google is different and held to different standards. Well too fucking bad you psuedo-religious Google freaks, it's not different. Google made a lot of people a lot of money, some would call them filthy fucking rich, and if you were too stupid to buy early or sell high then FUCK YOU for being a moron so stop whining and move on. For what it's worth you should probably sell at a huge loss before you lose everything and you're homeless living in your goddamn car because it's not going to rebound, the wild ride is over.

Last but not least, those crybabies that come out in droves every time every search engine changes, especially Google, and you or your customers go up and down from #1 to #5 or heaven forbid your sorry ass slipped to PAGE TWO and you're not in the top 10 anymore.

Well for those of you whining about your SERPs I have 2 words:
FUCK YOU!

With hundreds of thousands of pages competing for these top keywords you were lucky you got there in the first place and the fact that you couldn't survive a new way of indexing is just too damn bad. Nobody OWES you that position in the search engine and you don't have the right to demand getting it back, adapt and deal with it or just fuck off as I'm sick of hearing all your shit.

I'll bet conversely someone else is happy as shit they moved up and are dancing in the aisles getting all that free traffic that your whiny ass is bitching about as one man's tragedy is another man's blessing when it comes to search engines.

This Googlenoia is just getting so fucking old, can't we find something new to talk about?

Tell me about your latest project, found any good blogs lately?

JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT GOOGLE ALREADY!

Enough.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I got a new puppy!

EVO

Anonymous said...

> Tell me about your latest project

My latest project is to create a spam machine to stuff Google's index with terabytes of data. I love Google

IncrediBILL said...

If nothing else the rant was as cathartic as ending a week long constipation.

thebear said...

Googlenoia is different from robofobia how?

I was wondering what that huge kaboom was all about. Glad the exlax finally worked.

IncrediBILL said...

Robophobia implies fear and I'm not afraid of them in the least, I'm pissed off.

Robomania maybe.

searchquant said...

Google Google Google Google Google
Google Google Google Google Google
Google Google Google Google Google
Google Google Google Google Google
Google Google Google Google Google
Google Google Google Google Google
Google Google Google Google Google
Google Google Google Google Google
Google Google Google Google Google

Trying to see if I can elicit any swear words you haven't already used on your blog.

IncrediBILL said...

Very funny.

I would say something really bad but my wife gets upset when I use cunt or derivatives like moth-eaten cunt but being cunty is OK.

Have I said cocksucker yet?