Friday, December 23, 2005

Google's Blog Search Doesn't

Noticed some poor hapless bastard looking for a little holiday cheer came here from Google for the search phrase "good will toward men" but noticed that it was from the main Google index and not the Google Blog Search.

Upon closer examination this site is definitely indexed by the blog search but oddly enough you can't find that quoted phrase for this site in the 700 returned results but it's about in the top 20 in the main Google index unquoted, about #10 quoted.

No wonder I'm losing my hair as Google keeps making me scratch my head all the time wondering what in the heck is going on over there but the blog search does say BETA so we'll give them the benefit of the doubt for the moment.

Someone must've complained to Google as my "good will toward men" rankings got flushed.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

AdSense Makes Americans Fat

Time for a quick game of twisted logic that's about as scientific as some of the stupid surveys and studies you'll read but more amusing in the end.

Reading this piece about The New American: Fat, weak and slow caused me to attribute this to Americans sitting in chairs all day glued to the internet and video games. which would ironically make the article about Americans being fat and weak itself contributing to the problem it claims to expose as it's also on the internet but we're sidetracking.

So let's draw some conclusions from my hypothesis that everyone's increasing tendency to be sedentary is caused by the internet.

Many webmasters are creating tons of content to get people to visit their monetized sites more often in order to make them more money, thus contributing to these sedentary lifestyles.

Therefore, since most webmasters monetize their websites with AdSense, we can conclude that ultimately it's AdSense that makes you fat.

How can this be?

Because AdSense drives the money grubbing webmasters to write more and more content that your addicted asses just can't stop reading all day on the internet which is why your ass has now spread to consume the complete lateral surface area of your chair cushion and perhaps overflow it somewhat.

Notice no AdSense on this blog?

That's right!

IncrediBILL's Random Rants are DIETETIC because we care!

AdSense Vigilanteism

Here's a neat trick if you want to help maintain the integrity of the AdSense network when you run across some ignorant blogger or some other idiotic web site with calls to "click the ads" on their web page.

Posting the following snippet below from the AdSense Policies page into their online comments has resulted in the "click the ads" requests being yanked sometimes instantly when the webmaster shit their pants thinking big brother must've done it.

Try it, just cut and past the following in someone's page as comments:

Google AdSense Program Policies


Web pages may not include incentives of any kind for users to click on ads. This includes encouraging users to click on the ads or to visit the advertisers' sites as well as drawing any undue attention to the ads. For example, your site cannot contain phrases such as "click here," "support us," "visit these links," or other similar language that could apply to any ad, regardless of content. These activities are strictly prohibited in order to avoid potential inflation of advertiser costs. In addition, publishers may not bring unnatural attention to sites displaying ads or referral buttons through unsolicited mass emails or unwanted advertisements on third-party websites. Publishers are also not permitted to use deceptive or unnatural means to draw attention to or incite clicks on referral buttons.

Funniest amusing shit ever and it's FREE!

Not to mention you may be saving your own source of income by stemming the tide of advertiser withdrawl of the AdSense content network so it's a win-win.

Firefox Prefetch is Crap

Now that I've been monitoring what good old Firefox is prefetching since first watching it step right into my new spider trap it seems to have one more disturbing trend in that it tries to prefetch the same pages over and over and over.

What seems to be happening is that every page a visitor goes to the Firefox prefetch appears to keep asking the web server about the same navigation pages repeatedly.

Well that's just fucking stupid!

Oh well, what do you expect for free.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Whiny AdSense Webmasters

Google must have the secret formula to create whiny assed momma's babies as all these AdSense webmasters do is piss and moan about their earnings, income per click, click thru rates, smart pricing, being banned for not following the rules, and so on and so forth to the point I'm ready to round them all up and smack them for being such whiners.

Maybe you babies should understand what AdSense is not:

  • AdSense is not a dependable welfare check
  • AdSense is not a dependable retirement fund
  • AdSense is not a replacement for your job
So what is Adsense?

AdSense is a way to monetize your web site traffic - no more, no less.

Read the various AdSense forums and you'll rarely ever hear anyone that had a really good web site with an ample amount of traffic ever complain about AdSense.

Most of the whining comes from the get rich quick types that thinks the world owes them a living since they can put up a web page that nobody cares about.

Get a clue you blubbering morons, web pages alone don't make money!

BUSINESSES make money so if you don't have any business sense you will fail miserably.

If you don't know who your audience is, don't provide the content your audience wants, don't know how to market your site and overall don't provide a good user experience you won't make anything with AdSense, YPN, Chitika eMiniMalls or any other affiliates programs.

Grow up and stop whining!

Enough already.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Very Fucking Funny

Apparently someone having a wee bit of time on their hands is trying to make me spit soda on my screen every time I look at what keywords are referring people to this web site.

Today we have:

Yes, I know the tequila wasn't using that same magical keyword, but I'm assuming someone has to be drinking a lot of it to keep looking for that horse to have sex with.

Well ya know what?

If looks like I have some fucking rank in MSN!

Fuck you very much!

UPDATE - ok, I don't know who did it but you all need to get a life

New entries today worth mentioning:
Very fucking funny, but I think we'll just stop reporting on this topic and move on to more mainstream things.

Ode to AdSense

AdSense pays the best of all,
Better than Yahoo and eMiniMall.
A better program does not exist,
I think I'll go and slash my wrist!

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Breaking Search Engine News of the Weird > UPDATED

Thanks to women drivers everywhere this web site is now about the top 20 position [fickle MSN shuffling us around] for some highly competitive keywords in MSN without the additional equine keyword as previously reported.

Now comes the interesting concept of monetizing this web site as the types of ads needed to address the people being attracted to those keywords would most definite make Zawodnygate look pale by comparison.

However, I'm suspecting both of my loyal readers wouldn't give a shit if this place was oozing in porn ads.