Thursday, December 22, 2005

AdSense Makes Americans Fat

Time for a quick game of twisted logic that's about as scientific as some of the stupid surveys and studies you'll read but more amusing in the end.

Reading this piece about The New American: Fat, weak and slow caused me to attribute this to Americans sitting in chairs all day glued to the internet and video games. which would ironically make the article about Americans being fat and weak itself contributing to the problem it claims to expose as it's also on the internet but we're sidetracking.

So let's draw some conclusions from my hypothesis that everyone's increasing tendency to be sedentary is caused by the internet.

Many webmasters are creating tons of content to get people to visit their monetized sites more often in order to make them more money, thus contributing to these sedentary lifestyles.

Therefore, since most webmasters monetize their websites with AdSense, we can conclude that ultimately it's AdSense that makes you fat.

How can this be?

Because AdSense drives the money grubbing webmasters to write more and more content that your addicted asses just can't stop reading all day on the internet which is why your ass has now spread to consume the complete lateral surface area of your chair cushion and perhaps overflow it somewhat.

Notice no AdSense on this blog?

That's right!

IncrediBILL's Random Rants are DIETETIC because we care!


baraqyal said...

Oh my god, I'm making America fat.

How am I going to sleep at night?

IncrediBILL said...

Considering people file class action lawsuits for just about anything including making hot coffee actually hot (duh!)I'm waiting on my invitation to appear as an "expert witness" on this topic as once the jury sees my fat ass we're all in the money.