C T Scans from Hell

Have you ever had the joy of a CT Scan?

Had one this morning and it's a lovely experience when they strap your ass to a small plank and zip you back and forth thru a nuclear reactor, not to mention all the radioactive dye they inject into your veins to see certain stuff.

I'll bet if I jerked off in the bathroom with the lights off right now my sperm would glow in the dark.

Today was a tale of two arms.

The nitwits in charge couldn't seem to find a vein to inject the dye into today which was probably because I downed a bunch of whiskey last night in my usual 'night-before-CT' anxiety drink-a-thon which dehydrates my dumb ass and thus makes the veins harder to spot.

Oh well, let them earn their pay to torture me.

Recently they just introduced paper underwear to put on during the scans so those of you that don't wear any crotch covers in the first place don't have your goodies waving in the wind for everyone in the room to see.

About 2 years ago I remember another CT Scan where the nurse yelled at me "close your legs, I don't need to see that" to which I replied "I'm wearing black briefs so all you're seeing is pink leg but if you really want I can whip it out for your viewing pleasure".

She shut the fuck up.

Bet she flunked anatomy and I'm sure she isn't getting laid when she can't tell thigh from ball.

Stupid stupid nurse, get your tubes tied, stop now before you pollute the gene pool.