Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Hollywood Blames Piracy Instead of SUCK MOVIES

This rant is rated TV-MA for fucking language.

Pay attention Hollywood, just sit down and listen the fuck up, it's not piracy that's stopping movie goers from watching films and buying DVD's, it's the long stream on non-stop shit you've been cranking out this year stopping people from wasting their money. In case you missed it the first time, listen up you shithead demographic chanting morons, it's your BULLSHIT MOVIES keeping my money in my pocket, not piracy, not video rentals, not On Demand, not cable TV. Don't put the blame on anything but your garbage product as it's ALL YOU, nothing else, causing your decline.

My wife and I used to go see movies 1 or 2 times a week and in the last year we've been having a real hard time finding anything worth wasting money on 1 time a month so obviously we're stealing shit instead of paying to watch shit according to your theory just because you couldn't make a movie worth 2 thumbs up your ass most of the year.

Other than Walk the Line, Matchpoint, Syriana, and Good Night, And Good Luck plus a few others I can't remember at the moment the choices have been real fucking slim this year.

Nothing fun stood out like that anticipated sequel to the First Wives Club those bastards shelved, give me Goldie, Bette and Diane before I get pissed or one of them has a stroke! Nor did they show anything outstanding like American Beauty or being a Nicholson fan we could use more films like Something's Gotta Give, About Schmidt and As Good As It Gets and I could care less if Jack stars in them either, just good quality movies you can watch!

Not to mention the massive vacuum of any real stand-out superhero flicks in a while but the new Superman is on the way, supposedly. Nor have we seen any good SciFi / space epics in a loooooong while but TV's Friday night SciFi line-up is kicking their asses anyway so if you decide to make a new space movie it better kick ass like the original Alien or be fun like Starship Troopers, something special because people running around a rusty bucket ship shooting each other over some fucking conspiracy in a low budget space movie is BOOOORING.

I like to go out, I like a night at the movies, I'd go twice a week easily, but I refuse to ruin my night watching any old shit you think I'll pay for because you're WRONG WRONG FUCKING WRONG so make a good movie or just shut the fuck up and go broke already.

BTW, while I have your attention, spread out the goddamn movie times you assholes. People are still getting off work and want to have dinner when all the movies are starting at 7pm and most people move on and do other things before the next showing at 10pm. It's stupid, it's always been stupid, it will continue to be stupid and you can lose more business until you stagger showtimes a bit more so working slobs can see movies at 8pm and 9pm which is more reasonable.

So BLAME PIRACY when you continue to MAKE SHITTY MOVIES and continue with showtimes on CRAPPY SCHEDULES so.... FUCK YOU, FUCK YOUR PROFITS and STOP FUCKING WHINING YOU RICH HOLLYWOOD GOLD-PLATED GATED MANSION LIVING MOTHER FUCKERS just FUCKING FUCK YOU!

Just make me some good movies and we won't have a talk again, ok?

3 comments:

ogletree said...

Amen. People still want to go out to the movies. There is just nothing to see. I like the big screen and I like seeing it with lots of other people. It is a lot of fun when people in the audience react as a group. And to hear a bunch of people laughing. I get a good warm feeling when I go to a movie.

Anonymous said...

Welcome Back Kotter????

Who the fuck is going to pay money to watch that? What genius was able to convince what morons that was a good idea?

EVO

IncrediBILL said...

Just pray you aren't one of those loud open-mouth popcorn eating non-stop bag rattling assholes that always sits behind us as my wife just about snapped the last time we went to the movies and someone almost got a popcorn bag hat out of the deal.

She's on the edge, I can't stop her, be very very afraid.

MUNCH!