Monday, March 24, 2008

Please Install Flash - Idiots Guide To Flash Web Stupidity

Time to rant about a big pet peeve of mine, that little line of javascript that detects whether or not Flash is installed and the stupid shit developers do when it fails.

For a little introduction to the problem, I run Firefox with NoScript enabled globally for security purposes. However, I can easily enable javascript with a click except some developers do some really stupid shit that's costing their clients visitors.

Here's a few brain dead examples of Flash sites done wrong in the hands of idiots:

1. When javascript is disabled a blank page often results without even a hint, looks broken, visitors go away thinking you're stupid as dirt for putting up a blank page.

2. Redirecting visitors to a "Please Download Flash" page is just asinine. When visitors then enable javascript so your flash will work we're off on some other stupid page instead of where we wanted to go. Yup, frustrate your visitors and they'll just go elsewhere where sites aren't developed by designers that rode the short yellow bus to VoTech.

3. Using the NOSCRIPT tag to incorrectly tell us we don't have Flash installed because that tag actually means we have javascript disabled and you have no fucking clue if we have Flash installed or not until we turn on javascript you fucking idiots. Tell us correctly to ENABLE JAVASCRIPT to run the site in your NOSCRIPT tag and then let the javascript tell us we don't have Flash installed.

I'm sure I'll have some other addendums later but these are the top 3 offending things moronic Flash site developers do off the top of my head.

Anyone else got a pet Flash peeve?


Anonymous said...

Idiot web developers also fail to consider that:

(a) Google et al also hate/can't index Flash, hence in SEO terms Flash-based content contributes nothing worth SHIT to your site;

(b) it causes problems for people on slow net connections who have to endure SLOW SLOW SLOW Flash based sites;

(c) it breaks [often legislatively mandated] accessibility standards;

(d) it requires users to open up their browser to security vulnerabilities (javascript, ActiveX, Flash etc) if they want to see your worthless Flash garbage, which is asking too much of users in an age when so many web-sites are malevolent; and

(e) it is often un-necessarily deployed anyhow. Too often people use Flash when a simple animated GIF would do the same job.


StuartL said...

An animated GIF???

Roflmao - I just got taken to task on my web design blog by some local bozo who has way too much spare time on his hands because I dared to use tables.

He and his mates would rip to pieces for even suggesting something as stone age as an animated gif :)

Anonymous said...

as an 84 year old lady, I find your comments appaling using that filthy lanquage!

IncrediBILL said...

As my dear sweet granny use to say, "If you don't like it you can leave and don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya on the way out"